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The Gospel according to Serguei.
Serguei, leaving Galilee, enters into Eden, where he converses with the creatures of God.

So, there I was, walking through the gardens of Eden. So, you know how amazing the kingdom of God is, right? So, I kept going to and fro, and there was nothing going on. Then I saw a lamb in the distance, I looked at the lamb, I thought: badass little lamb. So I thought: why not have a good time with the lamb? I got there, the lamb looked at me, I looked at him, so it had to happen, right? So: I banged the lamb, I banged good.

Word of salvation:
Lamb of God, whom Serguei banged good, have mercy on us.

Then, me and the lamb, that love mood and all, I turned to the lamb: Hey lamb, wanna find something to do? Let's go. And me and the lamb walking, to and fro, that whole thing, then we saw a llama, I turned to the lamb: yo lamb. Wanna tag team the llama? Then the lamb turned to me and said: way to go, Serguei, way to go. Then we both went and banged the llama good. Super good.

Word of salvation:
Lamb of God, who joined Serguei to bang the llama good, have mercy on us.

So there, I got tired of those two, I continued walking through the gardens of Eden, then suddenly I saw a jacaranda, that leafy jacaranda, big, beautiful and imposing. I said: You know what, I'm going to bang the jacaranda too, why not? It's standing there, not going anywhere. I turned to the jacaranda and said: Wassup, jacaranda? I'll bang you good. And I banged the jacaranda.

Word of salvation:
Jacaranda of God, whom Serguei has banged good, give us peace.

So I thought, those creatures of God are beautiful, really beautiful. Damn, I was impressed by the beauty of the creatures of God. And then I kept walking, when all of a sudden a concrete mixer appeared in front of me. Then I was: that's a badass concrete mixer. I'm going to bang the concrete mixer too. Only that time I was passive and I let the concrete mixer bang me.

Word of salvation:
Concrete mixer of God, who slammed Serguei's butthole good, have mercy on us.

Then I was walking there, I found a valley of eucalyptus, I said: So, eucalyptus, that nice smell, this whole mood. Damn, I love it, this smell of eucalyptus, that love in the air, you know? Because you know it's in the eucalyptus that love happens. And in the eucalyptus I found a koala, and I turned to the koala: Hey there koala, what's up, wanna bang good? Wanna do a quickie? Then the koala turned to me: All right, let's do this. I banged the koala too.

Word of salvation:
Lamb of God, whom Serguei put aside to bang a koala good, have mercy on us.

In the market for 18 years, UDR has brought to you the most solid investment and applied marketing consulting. Allocation tables, replacement tables, re-marking and remarketing of tables. UDR brings the security and reliability of the Weit Hausten München Führer group, pass this name on to your friends, Weit Hausten München Führer is a group that has been working for 37 years with UDR in the relocation of marketing tables allocated to practical marketing of business management. You are waiting, but it will not be long, at the moment all our agents are busy. But in a few moments the show will begin, and when the show begins, you'll be able to reach your friend on the side and KILL HIS FAMILY.

The Gospel according to Serguei PencilEdit

The Gospel according to Serguei.
Serguei, leaving Galilee, enters into Eden, where he converses with the creatures of God.

So, there I was, walking through the gardens of Eden. So, you know how amazing the kingdom of God is, right? So, I kept going to and fro, and there was nothing going on. Then I saw a lamb in the distance, I looked at the lamb, I thought: badass little lamb. So I thought: why not have a good time with the lamb? I got there, the lamb looked at me, I looked at him, so it had to happen, right? So: I banged the lamb, I banged good.

Word of salvation:
Lamb of God, whom Serguei banged good, have mercy on us.

Then, me and the lamb, that love mood and all, I turned to the lamb: Hey lamb, wanna find something to do? Let's go. And me and the lamb walking, to and fro, that whole thing, then we saw a llama, I turned to the lamb: yo lamb. Wanna tag team the llama? Then the lamb turned to me and said: way to go, Serguei, way to go. Then we both went and banged the llama good. Super good.

Word of salvation:
Lamb of God, who joined Serguei to bang the llama good, have mercy on us.

So there, I got tired of those two, I continued walking through the gardens of Eden, then suddenly I saw a jacaranda, that leafy jacaranda, big, beautiful and imposing. I said: You know what, I'm going to bang the jacaranda too, why not? It's standing there, not going anywhere. I turned to the jacaranda and said: Wassup, jacaranda? I'll bang you good. And I banged the jacaranda.

Word of salvation:
Jacaranda of God, whom Serguei has banged good, give us peace.

So I thought, those creatures of God are beautiful, really beautiful. Damn, I was impressed by the beauty of the creatures of God. And then I kept walking, when all of a sudden a concrete mixer appeared in front of me. Then I was: that's a badass concrete mixer. I'm going to bang the concrete mixer too. Only that time I was passive and I let the concrete mixer bang me.

Word of salvation:
Concrete mixer of God, who slammed Serguei's butthole good, have mercy on us.

Then I was walking there, I found a valley of eucalyptus, I said: So, eucalyptus, that nice smell, this whole mood. Damn, I love it, this smell of eucalyptus, that love in the air, you know? Because you know it's in the eucalyptus that love happens. And in the eucalyptus I found a koala, and I turned to the koala: Hey there koala, what's up, wanna bang good? Wanna do a quickie? Then the koala turned to me: All right, let's do this. I banged the koala too.

Word of salvation:
Lamb of God, whom Serguei put aside to bang a koala good, have mercy on us.

In the market for 18 years, UDR has brought to you the most solid investment and applied marketing consulting. Allocation tables, replacement tables, re-marking and remarketing of tables. UDR brings the security and reliability of the Weit Hausten München Führer group, pass this name on to your friends, Weit Hausten München Führer is a group that has been working for 37 years with UDR in the relocation of marketing tables allocated to practical marketing of business management. You are waiting, but it will not be long, at the moment all our agents are busy. But in a few moments the show will begin, and when the show begins, you'll be able to reach your friend on the side and KILL HIS FAMILY.

Original (Brazilian Portuguese) PencilEdit

O evangelho segundo Serguei.
Serguei ao sair da Galiléia adentra ao éden, onde conversa com as criaturas de Deus.

Pô, lá estava eu, andando pelos jardins do éden. Pô, cê sabe como é que o reino de Deus é pasmo né? Pô, fiquei andando de lá pra cá, não acontecia nada. Aí eu olhei assim, pô, vi de longe um cordeiro, olhei pro cordeiro, pensei: Pô, cordeirinho sinistro esse. Aí eu pensei: Pô, porque não rolar um love com o cordeiro? Cheguei lá, o cordeiro olhou pra mim, olhei pra ele, aí num deu outra né? Pô: Transei o cordeiro e transei gostoso.

Palavra da salvação:
Cordeiro de Deus, cujo Serguei transou gostoso, tende piedade de nós.

Depois, eu e o cordeiro, aquele clima de love todo, virei pro cordeiro: Aí cordeiro, vamo caçar o que fazê? Vamo. E eu e o cordeiro andando, pra lá e pra cá, aquela coisa toda, aí nós vimo uma lhama, virei pro cordeiro: Ô cordeiro. Rola um 2x1 na lhama num rola? Aí o cordeiro virou pra mim falou: Já é Serguei, já é. Aí nós dois fomo e transamo a lhama gostoso pô. Super gostoso.

Palavra da salvação:
Cordeiro de Deus, que se aliou a Serguei pra transar a lhama gostoso, tende piedade de nós.

Pô aí, cansei daqueles dois, continuei andando pelos jardins do éden, aí de repente eu vi um jacarandá, aquele jacarandá frondoso, grande, bonito e imponente. Falei: Pô, taí, vou transar o jacarandá também, porque não? Ele tá ali parado, não vai pra lugar nenhum. Virei pro jacarandá e falei: E aí jacarandá? Vou transar você gostoso. E transei o jacarandá.

Palavra da salvação:
Jacarandá de Deus, cujo Serguei transou gostoso, dai-nos a paz.

Daí pô, pensei: Pô, essas criaturas de Deus são lindas pô, lindas mesmo. Pôxa, fiquei impressionado com a beleza das criaturas de Deus. E aí eu continuei andando, quando de repente, apareceu na minha frente uma betoneira. Aí eu olhei assim: Pô, betoneira sinistra essa, já é, vou transar a betoneira também. Aí dessa vez eu fui passivo e deixei a betoneira me transar.

Palavra da salvação:
Betoneira de Deus, que arrombou o rabicó do Serguei gostoso, tende piedade de nós.

Aí eu tava andando ali, encontrei um vale de eucalipto, falei: Pô, eucalipto, esse cheirinho gostoso, esse clima todo. Porra, adoro, essa lavanda do eucalipto, esse amor que rola, sabe? Porque você sabe que é no eucalipto que rola o amor. E no eucalipto encontrei um coala, e virei pro coala: E aí coala, já é, vamo da uma transada gostosa? Vamo da umazinha? Aí o coala virou pra mim: Pô, demorou, vamo nessa, já é. Transei o coala também.

Palavra da salvação:
Cordeiro de Deus, que Serguei largou prum lado pra trepar gostoso com um coala, tende piedade de nós.

A 18 anos no mercado a UDR vem trazendo a você o que há de mais sólido em investimentos e consultorias de marketing aplicado. Tabelas de alocações, tabelas de recolocações, recolacação no mercado e recolocação no mercado de tabelas. A UDR traz a segurança e a confiabilidade do grupo Weit Hausten München Führer, passe esse nome para seus amigos, Weit Hausten München Führer é um grupo que trabalha a 37 anos com a UDR na recolocação de tabelas de marketing alocadas para marketing pratico de gerenciamento de negócios. Você está esperando, mas não será por muito tempo, no momento todas nossas atendentes estão ocupadas. Mas dentro de alguns instantes o show começará, no momento em que o show começar, você vai poder chegar ao seu amigo do lado e MATAR A SUA FAMÍLIA.