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King Of Scurf

This song is by The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band and appears on the album Let's Make Up and Be Friendly (1972).

(Scratch scratch scratch)
I had alot of acne and pimples (pop pop)
I had to stay at home
Eventually no one came near me
(Eeeew! Eeoogh!)
All I had was my comb
And when it came to girls
The other guys seemed to have all the luck
(Why, hello, honey, like to come to the high school hop tonight, huh?
Wha hy, you little chickadee!)
Until one day, I heard them say
(His comb is full of muck!)

(Now he's the King of Scurf)
They know me everywhere
(King of Scurf)
I got filthy hair
(He's got dandruff)
More'n my share
I'm the King of Scurfers, yeah!

(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Hmm hmm hmm
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Oh oh
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)

Only last Saturday
We had a scene at our local pub
(Yah, yiy yiy yiy, that was fantastic!)
Everybody was jumpin' and jivin'
(Jump! Ooh!)
Some were doin' the Bop
(Bop shoo waddy waddy)
Oh, look what came over there!
I was shooping my head
The dandruff spread
Wow! Look at him go!
Like leaves blowin' off of the trees
Million teeny boppers and long haired moppers
In scurf right up to their knees
I can feel it in my sneakers!

(Now he's the King of Scurf)
They know me everywhere
(King of Scurf)
I got filthy hair
(He's got dandruff)
More'n my share
I'm the King of Scurfers, yeah!

(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Oool ooh ooh ooh ooh
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Ooh hoo
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Oh oh
King of Scurfers, yeah!

At the beach one day
A muscle man kicked some sand in my face
(Ha ha ha ha ha)
So I whipped out my comb and scratched my dome
And soon put him back in his place
That's better!
You see, the top of my head
Was evenly spread
Like the snow on top of the Alps (whoosh!)
The scurfin' kids really flipped their lids
When they saw the state of my scalp
Wow! The perfect amount!

(Now he's the King of Scurf)
They know me everywhere
(King of Scurf)
I got filthy hair
(He's got dandruff)
More'n my share
I'm the King of Scurfers, yeah!

Guess I'll just have to start from scratch

(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Woo ooh ooh ooh
King of Scurfers, yeah!

(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Oh oh oh oh wah ah
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Ah ah ah ah ah
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
The King of Scurf
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)

(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Wah ah ah ah ah
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Whoa oh oh ah ah
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Wah ah ah aaahahaa
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)

(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)
Whoa oaah wah ah
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)

(Ooh, scurfing, yeah)

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