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There Ain't Nothing Like A Dick

This song is by Team StarKid and appears on the musical soundtrack Me And My Dick (2010).

Old Snatch:
A dick can act real sweet
A dick can bat his eyes
He can tell you you're the one
But that dick's just full of lies

A dick's, a dick's, a dick's
A dick's, a dick, it's true
But you ain't never gonna
Find the dick for you!

A dick can hit you hard

Ms. Cooter:
Oooh, a dick can hit you fast
A dick can bring you love

Old Snatch:
But that dick can't make it last

Ms. Cooter:
There's a dick for every puss
Lots of fish in the sea

Old Snatch:
But they sure as hell
Haven't found the dick for me!

Both:
There ain't nothing like a dick

Ms. Cooter:
And the dick I've found's the best

Both:
There ain't nothing like a dick

Old Snatch:
They leave you itching with the rest

Both:
You can play with that dildo
'Till it makes you sick
But at the end of the day
There ain't nothing like a dick!

Old Snatch:
(Spoken) Now you're getting it, Miss Cooter!
(Spoken) Preach, baby, preach!

Ms. Cooter:
My dick's a different breed
He's got class, he's debonair
His voice is gravelly and soft
And baby, he's got quite a pair

When he talks to me
I get all hot and bothered, you see
I'm positive that he's
The only dick for me

Old Snatch:
Oh, that dick has got you good
He's got ya under his spell

Ms. Cooter:
Well at least I have a dick
And at least I don't smell

Old Snatch:
You make the same mistakes
Through thin and through thick

Both:
But at the end of the day
There ain't nothing like a dick

Ms. Cooter:
I want that shaft in me today

Both:
There ain't nothing like a dick

Old Snatch:
Hey look, a baby on the way!

Ms. Cooter:
Oooooh, the way he makes me feel

Old Snatch:
And they sure is are slicks

Both:
But at the end of the day
There ain't nothing...
Like a dick!

Old Snatch:
(Spoken) And they'll fuck ya too!

Yeah!

Credits

Written by:

A.J. Holmes and Carlos Valdes

Performers

  • Devin Lytle as Ms. Cooter
  • Nicholas Joseph Strauss-Matathia as The Old Snatch

External links

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