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This song is by Nick Bognar.

O beautiful city of desperate people
A 2 minute wedding, a featherweight steeple
No gambler's remorse, no memory of the source.
Toeing my foot under the table,
With your stupid smile you looked like Betty Rubble:
A baby in arm, and a dinosaur on the way.
A mouth full of dustmites, a visit to Barstow
It looks like a handshake, but it feels like a clown nose
Just something you wear when you wanna look stupid somewhere

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