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If I Told You Who It Was

This song is by Johnny Cash and appears on the album Out Among the Stars (2014).

I was down in music city 'bout a week ago
I wanted to see the Grand Ole Opry show,
So I hailed a cab and I headed down to Opryland
They said they sold their last ticket the day before
So I kinda just hung around the backstage door
And down the steps, she came... man oh man
My favorite female country star
She waved to her fans and headed for her car
Her tire, unlike her body, was very flat
She said, "Could you change my tire?"
I said, "Your wish is my desire!"
As she raised the lid, I grabbed her bumper jack
She said, "I sure do appreciate you changin' my tire!"

If I told you who it was, if I told you who it was
You'd say I was makin' it up
You've seen her on the screen and in country magazines
You'd think I was makin' it up
She said it was our little secret
And by golly, I'm gonna keep it
Anyway, you wouldn't believe it
If I told you who it was

She said, "You need a lift?", and I said, "Well,
You can drop me of at the York motel."
So we headed down Briley Parkway into town
I told her, "I got all your records, ma'am!"
She smiled and said, "Well, I'll be damned!"
She said, "You're kinda cute, fella -- wanna mess around?"
When we got to my room, just to be polite
I said, "Sure wish I could've heard you sing tonight."
She smiled at me and said, "Whatcha wanna hear?
Well, if I was one of them country music folks
I'll tell you, she'd sure get my vote
For the best performance of the year

If I told you who it was, if I told you who it was
You'd say I was makin' it up
You've seen her on the screen and in country magazines
You'd think I was makin' it up
She said it was our little secret
And by golly, I'm gonna keep it
Anyway, you wouldn't believe it
If I told you who it was

Well, I'll tell you this much,
When I put my arms around her and squeezed her real tight
She looked up at me with those big beautiful eyes
Took a deep breath in the side and said:
"How-DEE, I'm just so proud to be here!"

If I told you who it was, if I told you who it was
You'd say I was makin' it up
You've seen her on the screen and in country magazines
You'd think I was makin' it up
She said it was our little secret
And by golly, I'm gonna keep it
Anyway, you wouldn't believe it
If I told you who it was

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