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Ken Kaniff

This song is by Eminem and appears on the album The Slim Shady LP (1999).

Watch video at YouTube
As heard on The Slim Shady LP
Ken: Let's call this motherfucker
(Dials operator)
Ken: Oh, fuck yeah... give him a piece of my mind... piece of my ass
(Operator comes on)
Operator: Thanks for waiting. Hello, may I help you?
Ken: Oh, thank you. I need to make a collect call
Operator: What number?
Ken: Oh... the number's (censored)
Operator: At the tone, please say your name
(Beep)
Ken: Kenneth Kaniff, from Connecticut. (connecting) Automated piece of shit
Eminem: Yo?
Ken: Hey there, cock boy
Eminem: Who's this?
Ken: This is Ken Kaniff
Eminem: Who?
Ken: Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, you lil' bitch
Eminem: From Connecticut?
Ken: Yeah, you wanna...
Eminem: I don't know nobody in Connecticut
Ken: You wanna get a hotel room with me?
Eminem: A hotel room?
Ken: Yeah, you want me to lick your ass, EMINEM?
Eminem: (laughs) Yo, who is this? Cage?
Ken: (laughing) You want me to fuckin' melt in your mouth and not in your hand? Melt in your ass, ya lil' cock boy
Eminem: (snickers) Yo, shut up, you lil' bitch
Ken: Oh, you think I'm lying, huh?
Eminem: (laughing out loud)
Ken: Ugh

As heard on The Marshall Mathers LP
Watch video at YouTube


(Sucking noises/piano music in background)
Ken:Uhhhh... Yeah... Oh suck it... Oh, fuck yeah! Oh Shaggy... Uhh...
This is why they call you 2Dope, ain't it?
Uhh Fuck yeah!

Okay now take it out, take it out
Now give some to Jay... Oh, Violent Jay... Don't Bite it, don't be violent with it, just suck it, nice and slow...
Uhhhh, Oh fuck yeah, now give it back to Shaggy, he was suckin' it better. Uhh, now say my name!
Shagggy2Dope: Eminem!
Ken: Say my name!
Shaggy2Dope: Eminem!
Ken: WHAT?! Ah, Fuck you guys! Give me my dick back! (zips pants up) Fuck you guys! If you want Eminem, you can HAVE Eminem! Fuck you guys! I'm leavin!
Shaggy2Dope: Ken, wait!
(Ken slams door)
Shaggy2Dope: Uh, damn!
Violent Jay: Nice going, Shaggy!

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