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Hooker Got A Boyfriend

This song is by Biz Markie and appears on the album All Samples Cleared! (1993).

(Verse One)
Aiyyo here's a tale, about a female I once messed with
Or better yet, skins that I swung eps with
Face full of grace, waist shaped like Vanessa
Del Rio, oh-me-oh, my but the heffer had
Big juicy lips, wide hips you had to call fat
Stacked back to mack, yo the hooker was all that
And lots more, and baby girl I had the hots for
But I'm really not sure, who she spread the twat for
Heard it was a kid across town named Hector
But I don't give a heck, so I still went and checked her
On the down low, he ain't around so
Out of sight, out of mind, get your coat and let's go
So we dipped, hopped in the whip and we was gone
Off to City Island 'cause they had it goin' on
Two yuks a foo, now the mood was set
Caviar at the bar, Red Star, Moet
Silk suits, spendin loot like a straight up mack
When I felt somebody finger tappin me on my back
And turn around quick, but before I could begin
All I seen was a big mac-10, aiyyo it's her boyfriend

"Hooker got a boyfriend!"
"Why do she do this boyfriend?"
"Oh ah... why do she do this boyfriend?"

(Verse Two)
Check it, yo
I broke camp, ran like a champ, yep I jetted
Off to the trunk for the pump, time to set it
Money kept screamin some CRAP that I dissed him
So I started lettin off {*gunshots*} but I missed him
Honey got scared, and called the five-oh
So yo, you know the half Dukes, time for me to go
'Cause I ain't the type to be doin' no bid
For a dame or a lame-brained punk Spanish kid
So I chill, call the hooker up the next day
She told me come over yo, bet I'm on my way
Be there in a sec, yo I'm not too far
She said, "Park around the back so he don't see the car"
Met me at the door with a kiss and a smile
I said, "Sorry about last night, money kinda wild"
"Umm yeah I know, small thing don't worry"
Just show me to your room so we can do this in a hurry
Kissed her from her earlobes down to her chest
Went for the bellybutton and to hell with the rest
Got her butt-naked and before a second passed
I had her on the bed with my fingers up her {ah!}
Now she's ready, set for a good steady bangin'
Until she looked down and seen Moby Dick hangin'
She told me, "Take it easy yo trust me just chill"
Knowin' once I get up in it yo I'm goin' for the kill
So she spread 'em, thick rich and creamy like mayo
Aiyyo, lay-o, the tip is on the way-o
Pinned her legs back, just about to slide in
When the door burst open {*SLAM*} damn it's her boyfriend!
Did it again!

(Verse Three)
Now I'm mad, money done spoiled all the fun
On top of that he beefin and he ain't got a gun
Flippin the jibs, I guess he wanted to brawl
So I started hookin all butt-naked and all
Threw a right, caught money dead in the jaw
BOOM with the left and his fronts hit the floor
Now I had him, time to put his head for rest
So I beat him unconscious and I started gettin' dressed
Honey all hysterical and screamin all hoarse
Said she seen a box car pullin up in the yard
Just bout to jet, yo guess what I saw
Some old big black {*HMMM*} bust in the door
"Now hold up, what the hell you doin' in my house?
Get your ass off the floor, put your teeth in your mouth
Now everybody better be gone by the count of one
Look, better yet, y'all stay right here
I'm goin' to get my gun"
Now that's it! Enough is enough, I ain't with it
I'm catchin mad beef and yo I ain't even hit it
Honey looked good and yo the buns was fat
But ain't a coochie in the whole WORLD worth all that
So umm, I got my coat and I was on my way
That's when she started breakin down, and beggin me to stay
Knock it off, it ain't that much beggin in the world
Next time I want some skins, I'll go and hit my own girl
Man I'm out, and I ain't tryin' to see you again
So eff you, eff your pops AND YOUR FAGGOT-ASS BOYFRIEND!


(Chorus x2: to fade)

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