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The Mayor Of Pussytown

This song is by Adam Sandler and appears on the album Shh...Don't Tell (2004).

Yo it's 2004 and all you candy asses thinkin' y'all real pussies
Y'all ain't seen shit yet
Eh yo man let 'em know

Oh yeah, guess who's back
It's the mother fuckin' pussy with the little nutsack
Don't care about cheddar or the paper chase
I'm a fuckin' grown man with zits on my face
A straight up chicken shit
A pansy ass punk
If I'm if I'm guarding your ass it's an automatic slam dunk
While thugs are at the party bustin' all ya'lls asses
I'm hidin in the corner wonderin where the fuck's my glasses
Can't afford no rims my
My fuckin' dick's so small no bitch can suck it
I don't pop 9's I got weak rhymes
Back in 9 duce I got pissed on 10 times
I roll solo I ain't got no crew
I say please don't hit me more than a cow says moo
Afraid of heights I'm a-scared in the dark
I walk an extra 3 miles to avoid crazy fucks in the park
Denied by the bloods, turned down by the crypts
My fuckin' auntie kicked my ass and she got 2 plastic hips
When I step to the club feel free to stare me down
Because I just got re-elected the mayor of pussytown
When bangers hit the street I stay home and watch TV
Slumped out on the couch so no one can see
Unless I hear somebody knockin' on my door
Then you'll see me crawlin cross the mother fuckin' floor
I've been a fuckin' coward every day of my life,
That's why I pretend I don't know everyone's banging my wife
I won't sit on the porch, I don't want no trouble
I'm more afraid of goin' out than the fuckin' boy in a bubble
When the shit goes down I make a break so fast
Look like a mother fuckin' rocket goin' past
Searchin for the sneakiest place to hide
Straight into the ladies room, ain't got no pride
Slippin slidin, runnin' hidin
You know damn well it's a scooter I'm ridin'
Oh no here we go, out come the glocks
I take off so fast I pop out my socks
You gonna fuck with me, I'll cry then run
I called the cops when I got shot with a fuckin' squirt gun
He clams up he shuts down
His pants he almost shits
He'll even look the other way if you grab his grandma's tits
Well I had a little poodle but neighbor's stoled her
I'd shoot her with an ak but the kick hurts my shoulder
I can't pop no gun and I can't fist fight
Hell I'm afraid to take out the fuckin' garbage at night
I use the steps in the pool 'cause I'm terrified to dive
Don't fuck with my floaties they's what's keepin' me alive, bitch
Never drank remy never delt crack
One time I smoked weed I had a panic attack
If you're looking for my dick in the mens locker room
Just bring your binoculars with a fuckin' super zoom
Naw I'm just playin' I don't fuckin' change in there
The one time I did got my bush sprayed off with nair
But did I stick up for myself no fuckin' doubt
I did what I do best, I broke the fuck out
I ain't lookin' at you I ain't tryin' to front
It's aight with me you called my jimmy a cunt
Freakin sneakin crawlin creepin'
When the gangs are bangin' I'm in the basement sleepin'
I'm straight from the streets seen trouble in every side
When the shit hits the fan I throw on a fuckin' disguise
Fake nose fake wig fake beard
It all worked pretty good
Sometimes I just use a map and a funny accent
And pretend I got lost in the hood mother fucker
Now all you coward mother fuckers out there
Walkin' round with your head hangin' low
Just cause you ate one dick
Just know
My man the mayor, had to suck off his whole high school
Case closed

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