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The Boss And The Secretary

This song is by Adam Sandler and appears on the album Shh...Don't Tell (2004).


Yes, sir?

I want ya in here right now!

I'll be right in.

Damn straight you'll be right in

What do you need, sir?

What do I need? You know what I need

Uh, no I don't, sir

I want you to come on over here, fish my xx out of these
Trousers, and xx on it for a while!

Sir, I don't think I can do something like that!

Oh, you can and you will, bitch! Kneel down, now!

What if someone comes in?

You think I give a flying xx about that shit? You get over
Here and you start suckin it! Well, all right...

Yeah! Yeah, that's it! Reach in there! Reach in there and get
Yourself some candy


Okay, a little lower, though...

Umm... all right...

Little... little lower...


No, to the left!


Damn, bitch, do I gotta do everything? Pull down my pants!

O... Okay...

Now the tighty whities, pull that xx down too

Watch out now, here it comes! Boing! Now what you think of that?

What do I think of what?

This! My ding-a-ling! Come on, play with the xx a little

Uh, okay...

Lower, baby! Gettin' warmer...


Let me pull the fatty rolls apart, spring that xx out for ya

Yeah, that would help

Whoop, there it is!

Haha... What the xx is that?

Play with the shit


That's right, jack it up and down


Up and down!

Well, it's hard to grab onto!

Keep tryin', you thick fingered bitch! Use your pinkies!

Oh, okay... I'll try that

Yeah, now we got it goin' on...


Let me xx those pinkies...




Keep pressure on the sides of it, baby, keep it sprung! Yeah!
Tell me how much you love it

Ooh, I love it

Tell me it makes you horny

Ooh, I'm gettin' real horny

Tell me it's bigger than a Tic Tac

But it isn't!

I don't give a xx if it is or isn't! Say it is!

All right! Your dick is bigger than a Tic Tac!

Damn right, Tic Tac, cashew, thumbtack, half a grape, it's
Bigger than all that shit!

All that xx put together!

Now don't get crazy on me, bitch, let's keep this xx semi-real

Aw, I like a man who shaves down here!

I don't shave that shit, bitch! I'm still waitin on them weeds to
Bust out and grow and what not!

What? You mean you haven't reached puberty?

I guess the only way to get you to shut up is to throw a dick in your mouth!


Well, then xx on that shit!

Uh, okay... Mmmm... yeah, I'm suckin... suckin away here

That's a pimple, you dumb twat!


Move your mouth lower!

Oh, oh yeah, now you're on it! You're on it!

I'm on it?

That's it!


Oh, that feels nice!


Oh, hell yeah!

Yeah, there you go!

Oh, oh, shit, xx ow!

What's wrong?

It's caught between your teeth! Get it out! Get it out!

I'm sorry, sir!

Don't be flossin with that shit, you gap-toothed bitch! Be careful!

Look, maybe I should just lick it then, okay?

Do somethin'!

I'm gonna lick it! 'Cause I love to lick that thing, okay?


Yeah, baby...


Yeah, you like that, baby?

Oh, yeah!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Somethin' just spewed all over my face!

That was the pimple again!

Oh, uh uh...

Let me reiterate. Down. Lower. Bitch!

Okay, you fat fuck!

What's that?

I'm just playin' with ya, haha...

Oh, you better be playin'! Oh yeah, that's it, now you're on it!

I'm on it?

Oh, oh smoke that roast, bitch...


Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, not so fast!

Oh, okay

I got xx I wanna do to you, woman!

Oh boy...

Time to pull your dress off... You're gonna get fucked!

I don't know, sir, I mean... is that... is that really possible?

Don't give me no lip, bitch! You want me to smack you in the
Face with this shit?

"Hahaha" you laughin' now? Get the xx dress off!

Well, all right, but you have to promise me you're gonna use a condom

You know I can't wear that shit!

I do, I'm just playin'! Hahahaha

Condom! You've been watchin too many of those XXX movies,
Seein that fake dick xx those actors have hangin' off their real dicks

Those ain't fake dicks, those are real big dicks!

Bitch, I suppose you think Star Wars is real, too! That they
Really got space ships and Chewbaki and all that shit! Stupid,
Colorful bitch! Hahahaha!

All right, my panties are off... You gonna try to xx me now, or what?

Try? I'm gonna xx your eyes crossed, you apathetic bitch!
Wham, wham, wham! How you like me now, bitch, how you like me now?

Is it seriously in?

In? You gotta stop xx all them rhinos and blue whales! Not
Only is it in, but the shit's about to blow! Ooh! Mmmm...
Hope you're on the pill, bitch, 'cause I blew that wad all up in ya

I... I got it, it's right on the end of this hair, here

Shit, yeah, clean yourself up, bitch. There's a beach towel in
My bathroom

I'll just use this Q-tip

Whatever, just do it and get the xx back to work!

Okay, BB Dick!

What's that?

I'm just playin'! Bye!

Shit, what a life I've got... It's good to be Mr. Peter Bodd... Damn good

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