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The Old Bachelor

This song is by A. L. Lloyd and appears on the compilation The Bird in the Bush: Traditional Songs of Love and Lust (1996).

I am an old bachelor, sixty and three
And nary girls has ever lain with me
I know little of women, very little indeed
Folks say they're good for me and just what I need
Derry down down, down derry down

It's all o' last winter for frost and for cold
Not a grain of kind warmth could I ever get at all
My legs they was tremblin' and so was my feet
And I couldn't use hot bricks for burnin' the sheet
Derry down down, down derry down

My old Uncle George, he's as crafty as hell
He advised me to marry and I would do well
And the first that I fancied was young Jenny Green
A nice little creature just goin' on sixteen
Derry down down, down derry down

We sent for the parson, got married with speed
With no thoughts of hot bricks or burnin' the sheet
For all kinds of liquor had gone to our head
And how we was longing to get to our bed
Derry down down, down derry down

For two hours and better she lay at my back
And then she begun for to mumble and crack
"Aha, you old devil, rouse up if you can
You've something to do yet to show you're a man"
Derry down down, down derry down

I lay there and thought she was havin' a dream
But she jabbed in my ribs and said she could scream
Then she jumped out the bed and back home she ran in
And I tell you, I missed the kind warmth of her skin
Derry down down, down derry down

Well, early next mornin' her old mother come in
She raged and she scolded, I said, "What d'you mean?"
"Aha! you old devil, you're both joined together
Yet you never once tried for to make her a mother!"
Derry down down, down derry down

With the old wife's advice we both went off to bed
And with her instructions we fell to the trade
And when nine full month and a half-day had run
Damn me if she don't bring a fine strappin' son
Derry down down, down derry down

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