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Living with a Hernia

This song is by "Weird Al" Yankovic and appears on the album Polka Party! (1986).

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Living with a Hernia
Help me out! Dig!
All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss

Living with a hernia
All the time, such aggravation
Living with a hernia
Gonna be my ruination
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation
Feel so old

Too much bad pain
Good gawd, drives me insane
Can't run, barely crawl
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall
Walk real funny, bless my soul
Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl
You can't even do the splits now... Say it!
Better call it quits now
Now I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow

Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia
Had enough humiliation
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation

I (live with a hernia)
Can't get up, can't bend over
Now I live with a hernia
Wait a minute...
You may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you could get
So just settle down, let me clue you in
There's incomplete (incomplete)
Epigastric (Epigastric)
Bladder (Bladder)
Strangulated (Strangulated)
Lumbar hernia (Lumbar hernia)
Richter's hernia (Richter's hernia)
Obstructed (Obstructed)
Inguinal and Direct

Living with a hernia... Rupture!
I said it's causin' me such irritation
Living with a hernia
Have to have my medication
Living with a hernia
I feel bad!



Written by:

Dan Hartman, Charlie Midnight and Weird Al Yankovic

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